Lookin' on the new side of March

Well, here it is almost the tail of February and I am lazily letting it slip away from me as if there is going to be another today. I know what it is like to look at this awkward part of the year with disdain and discontent... it is always February that tests my patience for life to grab some traction.

My beautiful old house stands empty now, since my husband stripped it of it's sparse staging cutes. We desperately raced the clock to shakily write our names on all the lines dictated by the legal Gods... giving our okay to say goodbye to a sweet life, in hopes of new adventures elsewhere. I can only picture it empty in my head, being two thousand miles away from it... but I see it clearly. Surrounded by snow, staunchly maintaining its hold on the corner of 3rd and Locust. The queen of our block, ever regal, glorious even with its empty echoes... Goodbye house. May you be a blessing and a fortress to all who live within your walls.

As if nesting, like a long-pregnant woman ready to give birth, I frantically paint and wallpaper and start huge projects in my everyday, run-of-the-mill subdivision cookie cutter house ...while my husband sweeps clean our history up north. I make brownies, and scrub corners and rearrange furniture ...anything to bring back the cozy at-home warmth in my heart. It flickers... it's true... I can be home now, when my husband finally walks through the door.

So. I am ready to start over. Here is poem number 3:


The new side of March
is looking rare and wild
and it is easy to feel lost
like a vulnerable child.

Protecting my heart
Winter clouds in my eyes
Wrapped up in myself
where cold heaviness lies.

And then I see it,
tender green and so sweet
a small shoot to behold,
hopeful and strong at my feet...

Throwing open my arms
to welcome the sun
I laugh at the clouds
and skip while I run...

This new side of March
I welcome with glee
Dancing winter away
waltzing with February!

4 am Valentine's Sunday...Alone and Awake

4am Musings...saying goodbye to my sweet husband, on Valentine's morning, led to a bit of sleeplessness. This came out of my keyboard, and now I am going to crawl back into bed and wait for the sun.

* * * * *

Memories, so much like smoke and like veil
Flitting here and there, teasing and tickling
my mind...
Leaving me yearning, closing my eyes to solidify mist.

Memories of loves that were lost, either on purpose or not
Some dropping more tangible packages
like breadcrumbs and children...
Leaving me more determined and earthbound.

Each step of my path becomes more solid as I age
Memories more often and fleeting, leaving wisdom intact
if not sanity.
Accruing wisdom comes with knowing when to yearn, and when to live.

Like a large maple tree, I am...dropping leaves and changing colors
collecting years to shape into wrinkles and sugar
Memories flowing like blood to be tapped
to sweeten the taste of today.

Valentine's Day 2010

Having recently moved from a small town in Wisconsin, to the more polished and stretched out suburban area that sort of washes into the big city of Raleigh, I am struggling with a heavy sense of vagueness. It is like being cozy within a sweet yard enclosed safely by an attractive picket fence, gated welcomingly with a rose-covered arbor. After rooting myself into the fertile ground that I nurtured and gardened specifically to plant my heart within, I found myself ripped out and thrown spread-eagled onto sterile ground in a cookie cutter world. I knew it would be a difficult transition, but as is normal for me, lacked any significant thought to the actual outcome. The following poetry may very well be a morbid expression of my feelings, especially to be entered in something so positively titled for optimism. But I assure you, that this is as ever a part of the journey, and the whole process of Growth, is truly inspiring....wherever it needs to begin.

Poem #1: A Very Whimsical Good-bye

I planted too deep, for this gypsy spirit of mine...
A mistake and a sadness, a "should-a known" care,
That caused me to leave a tender root there.

I waited too long, and I planted too much,
Deceiving myself, deceiving my heart...
As always a gypsy, pushing her cart.

I should have known better, planting so deep
I learned long ago, that the blood in my veins,
are for planting the annuals, over again.

For many, like me, who are gypsies at heart,
we plant and we nurture and never take rest,
we may see the flower, but never harvest.

Well, this is a start, and I know this is lame...but it is a first draft, and of course, a first step. I am really very simple, and if nothing else, this might give you a chuckle. Re-reading it, it did bring out some of my long-lost sense of humor...! And, for that alone...it was worth it. Ta-ta for now. Sheree

Sheree's Half Full Glass

Well, here it begins. Tentative, unsure...little steps at a time. I find it humorous that I display more caution in working with cyber technology than I do in my everyday walk. I fear not to put one foot in front of the other, unplanned and unmapped...going into neighborhoods that should require some strategy if not a little fore-knowledge. But, sit me down in front of a computer and I turn into a sweaty vulnerable child trying to complete a difficult math test. It is worse when I have my husband looking over my shoulder, helping, as it were, watching my dignity crumble with every backspace. Which is why I am sitting here right now, sneaking, so to speak, to start up my own damn blog all by myself without anyone's help. My rebellion motivates me.

So. Let me tell you why this Blog is my own "Half Full Glass." My maiden name is Glass. And I like to look on the positive side of life. There. Simple. And no matter how old I get to be, I will always relate to being a "Glass" as compared to any other name that I attach myself to along my journey. I've had a few. Too many, in today's rather self-righteous society, but if it makes you feel better, I wallow in my guilt. Sometimes.

My intentions for this blog was to create a purely self indulgent venue for sharing my poetry and writings, but already I have a feeling this could be a bigger soap-box upon which to stand. I am not courageous enough to submit my work to professional publications, and I find it takes a bit of backbone to lay it out here, too, as an exploratory expression. Please be kind to me, and if you dislike my thoughts, please just stop reading. Make your own blog, and I will be kind to you as well.