"Let's just turn here...and see where it goes." Inevitable words spoken by me or my sweet husband, as we journey in unknown territory. It hasn't always been this way, and well into our developing relationship, I believed something horrible would happen to us if we ever got "lost." Following maps, following rules, following directions seemed to be part of my nature that took me safely on routes well-traveled. Completely at the mercy of technicalities, I always completed projects on time, and intricately by-the-book. Fearing ultimate disorder and chaos if I did not adhere to "the right way."
I have always been most comfortable with limits, in a lazy sort of way. It is safe, and one can always find the way back to repair or rebuild or rework a certain junction in our life by following "the map." But it is really, somehow, more difficult to read the map backwards, and often not worth the trouble.
My husband, Chris, has been so good for me, and I owe him so much. I owe him my joy. Right from day one, I noticed he didn't really use a map, or even follow directions. If I would say, "you can't do that..." or "you can't go that way..." he would look so surprised, and I almost felt ashamed to have spoken. He always would say, "why not?" and proceed to forge ahead as if to verily prove me wrong. And prove me wrong he did...over and over again. Not in a mean way, either, but in a gentle, hand-holding, guiding way that led me beyond my borders into a new direction, while showing me that we could still reach our destination.
We laugh now, and always go the "lost way" in our journeys. I have found so many beautiful, funny, interesting things along those ways that I would not have known existed if I hadn't learned to "just go." And we always find our treasure at the end of our journey... especially if we reach our destination...and we always do... with added joy and fun.
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I owe you joy
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I've always been one for taking the roads less traveled and getting lost. However, as of late, I've been going down metaphorical roads that lead to nothing but fear and failure, and as I hit those dead ends, I get discouraged. I saw the movie "Alice in Wonderland" last night, the Tim Burton version, and between that and this post, I realized that sometimes I just have to keep on going past those fears that I see as dead ends because sometimes the unbeaten trails are better than the roads....
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this blog and letting me remember that it's ok to get lost :)
I feel like we haven't forged ahead together lost for quite some time. Too much knowing where we were going lately. Being a little lost sounds like a good idea about now.
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