The Monster in my Belly

I thought I was finished with blogging.  But then.... the 2016 Presidential campaign ..happened.  The results were shocking to me.  The Electoral College put a Devil into the White House.  

This changed things a bit, to my voice.  To my existence, as a peaceful warrior for life and humanity.  Something grew in my own belly that was not sweet.  It started with a seed, wrapped around a fire so hot that it could consume its surrounding shell and grow into a flame that spreads without control.  

This isn't a "side job" that we are talking about.... it is the President of the United States.  Donald J. Trump, failed businessman, wealthy only by birth and unethical dealings, thin skinned, and of reality show celebrity fame..... will soon become the most powerful person in control of our country.  I doubt he has even looked at the Constitution of the US since he was in sixth grade.  But that is who the Electoral College gave us...not the majority of voters, but the whim of Republican gerrymandering and manipulation.  And we have since discovered by way of our esteemed Intelligence community, he gained office through a treasonous venue via Russia.

In my opinion, we are fairly doomed.  The Democratic Party is no longer viable as a check and balance.  We have quietly become a one-party system... making our way to Dictatorship.  I say "quietly" despite the noise of "the people" out in the streets protesting, or on facebook trying to present real news to take over the ever-growing Fake News permeating social media...and Trump's mouth.  

I see our country breaking apart.... there is no redeeming situation that will unify the heart of our beautiful Democracy.  Trump is working hard to silence the voices of reason and truth, as they proclaim...voice by voice... transparency is getting clouded by the day.  The media is in disarray and confusing in its floundering to make themselves heard and read above the noise of the Republican party's booming assertions.  

Well.  War is imminent, being blasted across neighboring fences like children taunting their enemies ...Our own children being the weapon of choice to throw directly at the Middle East, Korea, China...whatever country is showing disrespect to the great Orange Leader .... blood by blood, our country will be depleted of its strength, its intelligence, its imagination....and its hope. 

Brother fighting brother, longtime friends battling on issue and fear... it begins all over again.  Too reminiscent of the historical rise of the Nazi Party and Hitler's horrendous massacres.  Step by step, closer to repeating history with the processes of marking, registering and corralling masses of humanity. 

 And, personally: 

 
I lost my mom last night. Not to death, but to Fox News hypocrisy and to Trump. She called to scold me and told me she was so ashamed of the things I have been saying on facebook. Note, she is NOT on facebook. I looked at my friends list after that phone call and blocked most of my family members on the list. She told me I was a traitor to our country. 

Of course, I am heartbroken. But I tell myself that even Jesus himself was disrespected by his childhood friends and community.  Besides, anytime I can invoke the name of "Jesus" to my mom the better my argument becomes.  She is really upset that I don't claim christianity as American. Not even the fact  that I don't believe in god, but that I don't think it is in the Constitution. 
 
So. Yeah. I am doing some thinking this morning and may have to come up with a more organic and elegant resisting method than what I've been doing. 

I know I learned some important things from my mom.  Not all of them good.  Some things that I learned, I learned by observing and digesting and making it a commitment NOT to be like her.  She taught me to read, to dance, and to speak.  But the fire in my belly came from life.  I will use it to power good things and not let it go out from the wet dampness of discouragement.  I can let go of the things that are not working for me.  But the fire stays.