What fuels YOU?

Starting up a running routine again, after years of avoidance, has been interesting.  After training for a marathon when I was in my forties, I seemed to have lost the "joy" of the Run.  I've missed it, the Joy, not the Run...but couldn't seem to pursue it as I've aged.  Now, at nearly 58 years young, I have found my desire to seek my joy again. 

The last couple of years have been hard on my body, making it clear that I am well ensconced in the middle of that tide, pulling me ever to my winter years.  Struggling to learn about my "new" old body, with thyroid disease, Hashimoto's (an auto-immune disease), and just plain simple aging processes, it has not been fun.  Watching my old high school chums turn into grandparents and seeing the reactions of young people all around me deferring to my age, I knew I had to get serious.  Having had a child late in life (I was 42 when giving birth to my youngest) drives me to vindicate myself, to drive myself into staying fit and healthy so I can be the best mom I can be while he is young.... It was a big motivator.  Staying alive.  I mean, really alive... not just living.  There are things we want to do as a family, things we want to see and places we want to go.  I don't want to be unable to climb mountains and forge valleys as needed....So, my journey began in earnest.

I faithfully maintain a wonderful Boot Camp class... doubling up this month so I am Boot Camping every day except Sunday.  Isotolp Fitness has been such good medicine for my body, but more importantly, for my spirit.  I have become strong...not just strong-er, but really strong.  I have become confident... well, more confident... still working on that.  But the work-out has really taken my aging body, and is putting life back into it that I never thought I would see again.  I am very very careful, these days, what I put into my mouth.  There is no magic pill.  It takes a mountain of will power to keep those corn chips, Celtic Nachos, bread, and cheese from entering my body.  It isn't always fun.  But it is always worth it.  And... believe it or not, I am finding my long-lost Joy. 

Everyone in my Boot Camp has inspired me.  Yes, they are all much younger than I am.  But I am just as strong.  I am just as alive.  It is a wonderful feeling.  They have gotten on this "obstacle-mad run-challenge-yourself" crazy train of Spartan races.  And, it pulled me.  I said I would never run again (bad knees, old age...ya da ya da).... Well, never say never.  I signed up for a Spartan Sprint in March.  Taking a deep breath, I donned my running shoes, so I could start preparing.  I know I tell people, "I am doing this just to 'finish' ..just to have fun"  but I know me.  I want to do well.  I don't even think about how old I am, unless it can inspire me. 

I started running at near-by Lake Pine.  It is a very civilized path, hugging the pretty man-made lake.  Paved, of course.  People run it, but mostly people stroll.  With baby carriages, and lots of dogs on leashes.  I have not, as yet, felt the need to upgrade to the National Forest paths that are ruggedly advanced and wild.  Well, okay, I am starting to feel the need to upgrade, but I am deathly afraid of getting lost on the trails.  Hahaha.  I will have to overcome that soon.  But running at Lake Pine has been the first step to my discipline.  And to finding my joy.  That isn't saying that it has been FUN though.  Nope.

I hated the first day out there.  To put it mildly.  I couldn't breathe right; my jogging bra felt too tight and was not letting enough oxygen into my lungs... my knees were starting to give me pains.  And the people.... oh, my Lord.  The people.  My fuel was "pure annoyance."  To this day, I can use the very same annoyance to fuel my runs.  Thank goodness for people.

The path is only so wide.  You would think it wide enough, to look at it, to aptly provide for numbers of people to use it.  But that is not the case.  Too many people, obviously NOT runners (ever), meander in groups of three or more... gaggles of people....spread out across the path so as to easily chat while they meander... apparently unaware that there is a whole world of other people using the path also.  And this happens mostly while on an upward incline, if you can imagine trying to maintain a speed going uphill while having to change direction to go around and off the path into territory uncharted for poor old wobbly ankles.  That would not be such an annoyance if said gaggles would honor the sweaty runners' plea of "to the left, coming to the left" while maybe moving out of a lane with a simple step to the side....but no.  Many people stand their ground, while looking you in the face as if daring you to "steal" their little piece of path.  "I was here first" is not the way to think of public walkways....Boom... there is some fuel for me to speed strongly past them, getting me to my goal much quicker.  Thank you for providing that passionate push for me....

Another "fueling device" is to post my goal on facebook, for all the world to see.  When I feel like slowing down, or walking, I picture the words OUT LOUD that I so proudly posted... and Boom.... more fuel.  I cannot go back on my words, and there is the added spirit of motivation.

Visualizing the goal's end in victory... boom, that is another bit of fuel.  I can use that whenever I need it and as often as I need it...sometimes it is needed more than others, but it always works for me.  In my head, I imagine coming into the finish line, BIG, with arms spread wide and crowds cheering... even if I "only" ran two miles.... hey!  It's MY imagination... and whatever works, right?  I might look like I am limping, sweaty, and a mass of old lady tears with pee running down my leg and ready to collapse...but in my head I am a champion.

Yesterday I completed a 6.6 mile run averaging 9.7 minute miles.... this is just a beginning now.  I am almost 58 years old and I am a runner.  What fuels YOU?