November in North Carolina, through one old lady's glasses...

I think, next year, I would like to skip over October and jump right into mid-November. Choreographing my year, I will have to remember to add that simple leap into the dance.

I have immersed myself into old music, and "new" old music just to calm my jagged spirit. Having fallen into the bottom half of my "half full glass" in October, trying to swim to the top, only to be met with the hot air of mid-term elections, then gulping and grasping for a savior to keep me afloat while I search for the sand bar...music seems to be the life-float I needed. And not just any old music, but music that once touched my soul and filled me with strength and sorrow and joy, all at once. I have been listening to Tom Waits, Gordon LIghtfoot, Harry Chapin, and Joan Baez...musicians who I feel familiar and safe with...all whom carry my sadness with grace and share their voice in harmony, even while fighting for goodness and tolerance.

The mid-term election threw me for a loop. As you can tell, I am not one of those people who "got what they wanted" with the outcome. There was no rejoicing for me, no "Booyahs" pouring forth from my lips. I still feel like "the American People" made a bad choice, and the Poor Loser that I have tried to tame and civilize, rises up from within if I spend too much time thinking about it. I have learned many things from this election, and still have many curiosities regarding human psychology, but I am finding some footing along with learning about friendship and kindness. I have always been a vocal, politically minded person...partial to words, always, and fairly warrior-like when it comes to issues of humanity and generosity. I hope, in the long run, to be able to have an epitaph that my sons will be proud of, in my fight for human rights and justices, and that my spirit will be interpreted instead of my words.

I lost a few friends on this little jaunt. It is sad, a bit, but I feel assuaged knowing it wasn't MY choice and I will be here when they calm down and learn that Friendship is more important than an opinion. I give great KUDOS to the friends I have in my life, who hold some beliefs extremely opposite of mine, who remain with me and understand that although extreme in some things, are tied by a cord stronger than the moment. Knowing I can simply say, "I'm sorry for my harsh words, and I am glad you understand..." makes me love them even more. It doesn't mean we are ever going to agree, but it means that we are more valuable to each other for the dimension and perspective we can share...